I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz..

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.


Sonnet 17- Pablo Neruda
one of the greatest
its used in Patch Adams
I really enjoy his work
well the stuff you can find translated



My past couple of days have been crazy. Really this past weekend until now have been full... Full of death. and love. words. funerals. family. moments. breathing. chatter. help. comfort. Im learning a lot about the human race here recently. Im also becoming an expert on funerals... and beginning to have my own thoughts and feelings about them. It used to be you go and you sit and you visit with people you haven't seen in years and you cry then you leave. You bury then as time fades on you forget. Almost routine which is what humans are so used too... we thrive off of routine. Im not gonna go into a tangent and express my opinions on this stuff because it would solve anything. Im just gonna think on it a bit more... stay posted for more thoughts and views on this junk. Funerals ugh.


Relationship. the ability to love and be loved. trust. comfort. not leaning on ones-self. communication. touch. listening not just hearing. care. being real. being straightforward. no masks. knowing the boundaries. understanding. heart. investment. action. its giving time. living. breathing. its an everyday thing.


These past four months have been eye opening.


thoughts today:
Joey coming to see me at work today pretty much owns :)

technology is my personal hell
I appreciate it but I hate being peoples go to person
or fix it person

sometimes playing clueless is a wise decision

grace and peace
merl