The church's one foundation ...

Is Jesus Christ her Lord,
She is His new creation
By water and the Word.
From heaven He came and sought her
To be His holy bride;
With His own blood He bought her
And for her life He died.
She is from every nation,
Yet one o’er all the earth;
Her charter of salvation,
One Lord, one faith, one birth;
One holy Name she blesses,
Partakes one holy food,
And to one hope she presses,
With every grace endued.
The Church shall never perish!
Her dear Lord to defend,
To guide, sustain, and cherish,
Is with her to the end:
Though there be those who hate her,
And false sons in her pale,
Against both foe or traitor
She ever shall prevail.
Though with a scornful wonder
Men see her sore oppressed,
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed:
Yet saints their watch are keeping,
Their cry goes up, “How long?”
And soon the night of weeping
Shall be the morn of song!
’Mid toil and tribulation,
And tumult of her war,
She waits the consummation
Of peace forevermore;
Till, with the vision glorious,
Her longing eyes are blest,
And the great Church victorious
Shall be the Church at rest.
Yet she on earth hath union
With God the Three in One,
And mystic sweet communion
With those whose rest is won,
With all her sons and daughters
Who, by the Master’s hand
Led through the deathly waters,
Repose in Eden land.
O happy ones and holy!
Lord, give us grace that we
Like them, the meek and lowly,
On high may dwell with Thee:
There, past the border mountains,
Where in sweet vales the Bride
With Thee by living fountains
Forever shall abide!
The Church’s one foundation- Samuel John Stone

Ephesians 2:19-22
19-22That's plain enough, isn't it? You're no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You're no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He's using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he's using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home.

Just because I'm losing..

Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

Lost- Coldplay

The new album is insane good

I got my laptop sleeve in and I love it. Green. Clean. BUILT. I love their products. This week was crazy... long. hard. tiring. I watched a ton of movies. Sat in silence [rare]. Cleaned out [everything in] my room. Stripped my walls in my room [textured walls suck balls]. Read. Surfed the web. That's pretty much it work was slow and I was by myself most of the time and when I wasn't by myself my lovely family was here.[So pretty much I was stuck in my own personal hell.] Stuck alone or with family with my thoughts, concerns and overall knowledge of life. It was great. Wednesday night my grandmother and mother insisted I go with them to Wal-mart [my favorite place.. sarcasm] so I went. I wanted to buy some movies anyways.. and where else can you find double feature movies for $5. good stuff. I bought a total of 69 movies and only spent $63... tell me that isn't amazing. I found 3 really great 20 pack movies. One set had a ton of John Wayne classics. One was a ton of Alfred Hitchcock. The other was just a ton of old classics.. loved it. I also found Hannibal and Silence of the Lambs together. Dawn of the Dead and Land of the Dead. Hard Candy. I didn't have the 1st and 2nd X-men and they had them for $5 and I also found The Neverending Story 1 and 2. I totally scored. I'm coming to love Alfred and his suspense... and old westerns are so funny. I think McLintock may be my absolute favorite western. 

Ham sandwiches own face.

grace and peace

merl

But then the worst thing happened that could happen to any fighter, you got civilized.

-Mick to Rocky

  Rocky III

I'm told I need to watch the Rocky movies.. I think I may do that soon. So today I started this book The Barbarian Way... So far I like it. The author uses a lot of scripture and not a lot of opinion. He talks about the raw untamed faith... fighting for the kings heart. Great stories are used and I'm in love with his writing. Quote from the book that will not get out of my head "Jesus is being lost in a religion bearing his name". I stopped and focused on those words for maybe 10 minutes before finishing the rest of the chapter. So true and so raw. He opens his book with the story of Jephthah, one I wasn't very familiar with so I'm going back and studying up on it. [judges 11:1-11 is what he shared in the book] So far I like it. What makes me mad is someone told me to read this book a year ago and I was so focused on me I didn't even give it the time of day... I'm learning from past mistakes. 

[I lost 5 pounds over the weekend maybe because of the lack of intake. Hey but its totally 5 pounds... I'll take it. My freaking wrist is better today you can barely see the red spots. My whiteness wins every time...geez. ]

I'm standing here water rushing over,

My head hurting from the night before

Eyes swollen not able see the enemy behind me

I cant feel anymore, my senses lost

The only thing to do is wait.

Silence has crept in and brought along its old friend

My struggle is no longer the enemy but myself.

I gave you my heart long ago with the understanding 

'you would be there to protect.'

I'm battling, pleading please protect my heart

Because I'm fighting for yours.

excerpt from my journal today

grace and peace

Well have come to bring the sword..

Quivering lips, do I blow the horn
To everything we could be and more
If I stand and lock or open the door
Is that wind blowing through the tops of trees?
Are the cars humming through the street?
The moment passes right through me
And the past is the only thing I see.

I wrestle with God all night long in my head,
And as hard as I try I cant forget what Jesus said.
I'm grinding my teeth all night long in my head,
And my nerves are shattered again and again and again.

Sometimes at night on dark highways 
I pull the car over and listen for trains
With my hair blown out the window pane
I rise voice, I scream and say; 
".. I struggle with all the energy 
That is powerfully inspired within me
With this I toil, for this I breathe

Wrestle With God- Wild Sweet Orange

You cant tell but I'm burnt on the top right side of my face. [Damn it.] I am also, for some crazy reason, burnt on my wrists.. and the fun part is its not just burnt but its sun poisoning. So this weekend has been the best. [sarcasm] Its been more of a blur than anything... I don't know whats next. [truth]

This is my room. bare. stripped. clean. Jessie helped me gather my things and store them in the bathroom. Hence the bathtub full of crap. memories. paintings. junk really. Today was a hard day but I made it through. Life lesson number one this weekend.. I'm stronger for other people than I am for myself. When I'm alone I break. Number two. I am a really good listener. I hate that. Number three. Silence is needed not always liked. Pulling out the 50 million nails, screws, and staples in my wall I realized I want a simple life. [I don't want clutter or mess.] But then I realized that's life... it gets messy then you have a cleaning day or moment and God fixes it or you fix it. So I may want it[ a clean simple easy life] but who cares what I want right. Its not about flesh. or us. or me. 

I don't know whats next and at this point I don't really care 

I just pray for Safety along the way 

I pray for Health and Wisdom

Guidance.

Strength.

You know what humans are good for. Absolutely nothing. Well entertainment maybe... 

I hate painting the standard way. I hate painting in the lines. Staying in the box. "THE BOX" is killing me. SO my thoughts are pretty scattered and I'm sorry for the confusion but thanks for reading... Hope you all have blessed and peaceful weeks.

The call of the wild is still an ordination why...

And the order of the permeates
All our politics are too late
Oh my, the congregation in my mind
Is this assembly singing gratitude
Practicing their livin for you

Just take it easy
And celebrate the malleable reality
Nothing is ever as it seems
This life is but a dream

Live high
Live mighty
Live righteously
Takin it easy
Live high

Live mighty
Live righteously

Live High- Jason Mraz

AMAZING SONG

I've been reading again. I'm starting out with Harry Potter then later this week I'm going to star Pride and Prejudice. Should be fun. Later this month I'm gonna read the Hobbit and hopefully get to finish up the Chronicles of Narnia later this summer. Lots of time on my hands, I don't work well with silence and I'm beginning to get stir crazy. My dad is out of town and I'm stuck in a weird place and I'm in silence so I have nothing to do but sit and over analyze things. Ive done that so I'm moving on to reading. Ive put everything in His hands... He is in control. 

Relax. :)

Blue-eyed boy and this brown-eyed girl..

Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You can sew it up but you still see the tear

Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

Baby's got blue skies up ahead
And in this I'm a rain cloud
You know we got a stormy kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

The Sweetest Thing- U2

Its Number One

Eight crazy. wonderful. growing. loving. bittersweet months.

First Picture we ever took together...lol. He was driving, I was taking pictures.. this one made me laugh so I keep it. Pensacola [November 10, 2007] beginning of a new year. I laughed so hard that weekend. I remember being in a rush to get back to do captivating and how I didn't want to be anywhere else but right there in that moment. [after surviving the pirate room horror] He turned out being my best friend and my greatest love. [I love you sweet boy] eight months..geez.

here's to many more

My week has been crazy... up and down and really no end in sight. I woke up this morning realized it was Friday. Thank goodness. I thought it was Wednesday and almost cried [not really I'm just being dramatic] Fathers day is coming and I ordered his present.. I just did it late so its going to be late.. dang it. Praying that for some crazy reason it will be delivered today or tomorrow if not Monday will be fine.. It will have to be because I'm learning I cant control everything nor should I. My purse should be in today... we shall see. [I think it is coming from Bangkok.] I found it on Etsy and it is totally handmade.. I'm in love with this website. I also bought that laptop sleeve from Built NY is that bad... I spent more on me than my dad. Don't judge me monkey.

chiras and shalom

But something happened..

For the very first time with you 
My heart melted into the ground 
Found something true 
And everyone's looking round 
Thinking I'm going crazy 

My head hurts.. My mind is stretched

I havent been able to think straight..

Trying hard not to hear 

But they talk so loud 
Their piercing sounds fill my ears 
Try to fill me with doubt 
Yet I know that the goal 
Is to keep me from falling 

Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis

stuck in my head.. top 40 ugh

Do you ever feel like you relate to a character in a book or in the movies. I have been going through and reading up on comic characters... I'm bored and I have always loved the shows, stories, and movies so I figured I needed to do some background reading on them. One so I don't feel ignorant and two because I'm truly interested in the back story. My favorite in the X-men has always been Jean Gray/Phoenix which I just recently found out that was her mutant name. They always just used her name. Interesting and long back story but its cool to go through it all and see all of the connections. 

I have done a flip in my studying. I'm still doing Revelation but slowly.. its a lot to take in. I'm trying hard to stay focused and I cant. I'm feel like I'm doing something wrong... Or that Ive done something wrong. I'm breaking everything down and over analyzing. I cant take back what Ive already done.. I can only move forward. ask for forgiveness and hope you understand. My heart feels tugged and tattered.. which is weird. I feel this calling I just don't know what direction to go and I feel like I'm not "qualified" and I haven't felt that in a long time. Its scary feeling like you are the kid again. Helpless. Not worthy. Under the bar. Here recently I feel like Ive been at the bartering line. Bartering for my future. Bartering for my next few steps. how I long to be closer... to feel your touch. that touch of comfort. I keep telling myself "I'm not crazy just confused and mislead" I hate doubt.. I'm rebuking it from my mind. thoughts. actions. heart. It dangerous and unhealthy.

Sometimes I get so confused.. I don't like it. Sometimes I feel like I miss the mark.

Sometimes its best to lay your flesh to the side and try to focus on the bigger picture. Right now I can't... Its no ones fault but my own. I get so used to putting the blame on other things.... when it all comes down to me and my faults and my wrong paths. For once I'm assured I'm going down the right path.. It just took 20 wrong ones to get to the one right one. Its hard.

I don't want to push you baby

And I don't want you to be told

It's just that I can't breathe without you

Feel like I'm gonna lose control

I've got a pocket full of money oh yes I do

And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds

But when it comes to lovin'

I just can't get you off of my mind

Cant get you off of my mind- Lenny Kravitz

outstanding artists.

this is what I am getting my dad for fathers day. I think.

I want this. Built NY is amazing... Pretty sweet finds. I have found anything from electronic stuff to kids lunch boxes. Super cool stuff.

grace and peace

If you wanna be somebody,

If you wanna go somewhere,
You better wake up and pay attention

Sister Act 2

Saturday was fun.. Here's a few behind the scene shots. Major props to Jenny, Devin and all the models for sticking it out in the heat. She captured some beautiful shots go check them out. That night I went to the Strike Zone show and took some shots.. they are on the myspace so when you get a chance bounce over and go to my strike zone album. Major major props to the boys who put on an outstanding show. Much love.

Im tired.

The freedom and simple beauty is too good to pass up...

-Into the Wild

Two years he walks the earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, 'cause "the West is the best." And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild. - Alexander Supertramp May 1992

Ron- When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines upon you. 
[at that very moment, the clouds part, and sunlight falls upon them] 

I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.

What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now? [last words]

Into the Wild was an amazing movie. I advise everyone to watch it. I rented it off of Itunes and truly enjoyed watching it. Today had a weird beginning. I woke to my mom and sisters chatting and doing some last minute packing. Got a shower then got dressed. All at like 6 this morning conidering I didnt sleep well all this week and last night you would of thought I would of stayed in bed for those last few minutes of sleep. No, I got up and was cheerful and feeling better and ready to see my family off. Weird. My mom and her sister are taking all of the kids [3 boys and 3 girls=6 cousins] to Alanta. For 3 full days of fun, sunburns, lines, fast food, hotel rooms, theme parks, fishes, and coke. [More power to ya] I however will be alone reading, hanging with joey, or hanging with my dog in my clean home. [hellz yea] It was weird to be able to give my mom advice about Atlanta and let her borrow my gear and be helpful in the packing portion of our day yesterday. She heard me out and was surprised I even cared about their trip.Good laughs. I scammed my sister into helping me clean my room... that was fun. We listened to pop music [lol I let her pick] and cleaned everything. Dusted. Swept. Folded. Orginized. Threw away junk and clutter. Still has some work to be done but all together we did a fantastic job. Being sick is no fun and having someone there to help was good.

thanks Taylor :)

today is a good day. charis and shalom.

On bended knee is no way to be free

Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe...

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to goHolding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation, but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they're singing with the deadOverhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

Guaranteed- Eddie Vedder

AMAZING lyrics and sound

from Into The Wild

watch it

Today I have listened. learned. read. watched. worked. loved.

Revelation 1:1-3

1-2A revealing of Jesus, the Messiah. God gave it to make plain to his servants what is about to happen. He published and delivered it by Angel to his servant John. And John told everything he saw: God's Word— the witness of Jesus Christ! 3How blessed the reader! How blessed the hearers and keepers of these oracle words, all the words written in this book! Time is just about up.

I started reading Revelation today. Don't ask me why. I truly believe it is necessary to do so and I also believe you are blessed for doing so.. 

“Revelation” is from the Greek word apokalupsis which means, “a disclosure, an unveiling.” The book of Revelation is an unveiling of the character and program of God.

this is what my Jesus is..

• The faithful witness (1:5)
  
• The firstborn from the dead (1:5)
• The ruler over the kings of the earth (1:5)
• The Son of Man (1:13)
• The first and the last (1:17)
• The living One (1:18)
• The Son of God (2:18)
• He who is holy, who is true (3:7)
• The Amen (3:14)
• The Beginning of the creation of God (3:14)
• The Lion that is from the tribe of Judah (5:5)
• The Root of David (5:5)
• A Lamb (5:6)
• The Word of God (19:13)
• King of Kings and Lord of Lords (19:16)
• The Alpha and the Omega (22:13)
• The beginning and the end (22:13)
• The bright morning Star (22:16)
• The Lord Jesus (22:21).

The world is unprincipled.

It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

11-14But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

Romans 13:11-14

Today im filled. Today im in tune. Today is your day and my thoughts are focused on you. Thank you.

I think I wanna learn hebrew. Im looking into several different programs but Im leaning towards Rosseta Stone. Pretty cool setup and I hear its the best. Joeys dad is teaching a class at Beth El Shaddi.. Im not sure if I want to impose on their lessons.. since they have already started. I might just use him as a go to person. Anyways I would like to learn hebrew and freshen up on some spanish...  

grace and peace