lalalalalalalalalalalalala.

freaking New Soul- yael Naim

I have had that song stuck in my head all day

Im so tired of hering it.

Im on edge today my sisters are out of school and were fine the first two days. Im now praying for year round school. Holy hell. [pardon me] I flat ironed Joeys hair Sunday and forgot to post pictures. So here they are... 

I love this boy.

It was the wicked and wild wind..

Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king? 

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

Viva La Vida- Coldplay 

Im diggin the new stuff from them

check out there videos.

One word- AMAZING

First day of summer..hope you like them. Go to my Myspace and check out the rest.

grace and peace

merl

I used to rule the world

Seas would rise when I gave the word

Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of sand, pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the worldI took this photo 2 years ago... Youth Specialties Austin, Tx [I think]. One of those rare things you find in your everyday life. Heart in a bagel. Show some love today :) My weekend was so sweet and laid back. Completely stress free. Full of family and love. Movies and laughs. Sweet moments and on the rare occasion an argument but only with the teenagers who inhabit my home. Indian Jones was a hit... I went with my parents and Joey. That was the first time in 15 years my dad had been to the movies.. He went with me when I was a kid.. but never had time once the twins got here and was always working. It was cool he got to go. Shia LaBeouf surprises me over and over again. Great actor and did an amazing job with a classic series. I think the 40's and 50's are my favorite eras. My mom always said I was born in the wrong time... she thinks I would of fit in the 60's and 70's well. Interesting. Today Im going to pick up the girls from school... Exam day. They should be done around 11:25... I have I ever told you how much I hate Tuscaloosa. If not just know I have no love for it at all. I love a few people there but not enough to travel down to visit them. That's how much I hate that place. Anyways Im rambling, I also have to go meet up with guy to drop of some stuff for my dad. Should be fun searching for a complete stranger in a town I hate for my lovely father. 

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

I want to be beautiful..

Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Beautiful- Bethany Dillon

amazing lady who has some amazing music

We played this for the girls one year at Camp1.. It was so powerful. I watched girls who struggled with appearance and beauty break down walls and grow and realize that they are beautiful. Good stuff. Yesterday I watched the news during my lunch with my mom. I really hate the news because I'm always super depressed after watching it. An interesting [and depressing] story was gonna be shown in the news at 12 so I watched. The gist of the story was about appearance being a major factor to girls ranging from the age of 6 to 13... and that society and parents are feeding this obsession with appearance. They did an interview with a mother who took their 11 year old daughter to the spa to help with stress. The spa where she gets chemical treatments for stress. Another interview was with a mother who did the spa thing but also has her daughter getting a bikini wax.. Her thinking behind these choices was she was preparing her daughter and showing her how to manage good hygiene. Her daughter was 10. She believed you start early. They also did interviews with spa owners and stylists who all had clients ranging from 6 years old to 13 who come in weekly for detox and chemical treatments [ranging anywhere from hair to full body masks]. 6 years old.. I about flipped my lid. Are these people serious or just delusional... There has to be line drawn somewhere. If parents were doing their job as parents kids wouldn't be stressed and wouldn't be getting freaking bikini waxes. They would be kids growing learning and when its time to make the call on chemical treatments and bikini waxes they could use they parents as guidance on what they feel would be the best or who to use. It's sad to me that our society values the outside of people more than who they are or the best healthy solution for them. Because its not healthy for these children [really] to be exposed to such harsh chemicals at this young of an age. It's also really not healthy that we put such a strain on them to fit the status quo or to look a certain way or to feel their head with what the world thinks is beautiful. You think now that your helping them.. but what about 20 years from now when they suffer from bulimia and anorexia or have infections from surgery you approved of like breasts implants and lap band surgery [and yes that was another thing they discussed in the news.. the youngest to receive lap band was 12]. Non of this can be healthy for them, their soul, or their well being later on down the road. The clothing companies don't help in this matter either when daily the clothing is being designed to fit a size 0 model.. and today a size 8 is considered plus size. I'm here to tell you I'm a plus size girl. [I'm by no means close to an 8] The clothing is getting smaller and smaller. And the look of the clothing looks as though the girls are going to a club or better yet going to bed. We are making them prey for some dangerous predators. Our future leaders and business owners and future moms and dads or getting filled with lies daily. Where does it stop?

Moms and Dads I urge to please love on your children, pray over them, and send them out into the world encouraged. The demands that are put on them are so heavy... don't ignore the small stuff. Be present in the times they are struggling and searching. When you see your daughter standing at the mirror for hours dissecting herself.. confirm to her how beautiful she is and what a blessing she is and how proud of her you are. Write notes of encouragement on her mirror so when she doesn't want to wake up in the morning and go to school to face the kids of today.. she knows someone believes in her and thinks she is beautiful. Show her in scripture where God has made everything beautiful in itself and in it's time. Tell your boys they are strong and handsome. Show them how to be competent men... Men who fear God and are Men of integrity- Men who are incorruptible so they can stand up one day and be leaders and the head of their house. We live in a corrupt world please don't be blind to this.

grace and peace

merl

Ephesians 2

1-6It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah......

16-18Christ brought us together through his death on the cross. The Cross got us to embrace, and that was the end of the hostility. Christ came and preached peace to you outsiders and peace to us insiders. He treated us as equals, and so made us equals. Through him we both share the same Spirit and have equal access to the Father.

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up..

Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Danny's Song- Kenny Loggins

great old song.

Im listening to 96.5 at work

So if you have ever seen The Dark Crystal you know exactly who this is.. Fizzgig. He reminds me of my mom's dog [Rylee]. Btw yes I'm a complete nerd and watched this today at work on youtube. It was one of my favorites when I was a kid.. I watched it religiously with my grandfather. great movie. Found out today that they are doing a Fragile Rock movie that is coming out in 2009... I'm mega stoked I seriously watched that everyday. Childhood stuff is always cool to go back and watch... or look through. 

Really bored at work can you tell.

The ultimate measure of a man

is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience,

but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King Jr. 

 If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

Martin Luther King Jr. 

some great quotes for you today.

Lock me up inside your garden,

Take me to the riverside,

Fire,
Burnin me up
Desire
Taking me so much higher
And leaving me whole

Fire- Augustana

killer new album

very well put together

So if you leave your mac unattended this is what happens. Pretty funny stuff.. there were probably about 20 good ones out of the 50 I found on here. Layne and Emily [our neighbor and Layne's best friend] crack me up but this was too much. Emily [at the top] looked like an alien... creepy. This weekend was ultra laid back and I loved it. We watched a ton of horror flicks. Chainsaw Massacre: the beginning. The Mist. Hannibal Rising. All of them owned. I give them all four stars. Suspense. Horror. Drama. Good acting. Incredible filming and shots. And Gore. I loved it. Saturday my tattoo turned a lovely yellow shade... part of the healing process. Shane said I would bruise. Thank goodness its not super gross. It itches like crazy... and I can't scratch it. bummer. Prince Caspian came out this weekend and I haven't heard anything about it... If you've seen it let me know your thoughts. 

Today is one of those days. I don't feel content with myself... like I'm not doing something right. Weird feeling.. ever since I was a kid I would have these feelings. 

Todays thoughts:

I need to lose weight

humans are lazy

Acts... apostle

whole

grace and peace loves

merl

Rain turns the sand into mud

Rain turns the sand into mud 

Wind turns the trees into bone 

Stars turning high up above 

You turn me into somebody loved 

Nights when the heat had gone out 

We danced together alone 

Cold turned our breath into clouds 

We never said what we were dreaming of 

But you turned me into somebody loved

Somebody Loved- The Weepies

seriously one of the greatest groups

clean sound 

sweet lyrics

New Tattoo. 

I absolutely love every bit of the design and placement. I did not however love the pain of getting it. If you are thinking about getting a chest piece think about it real hard... But in all seriousness the design is killer and Shane from Non Stop Art did an amazing job. Big thanks to Joey for coming out and supporting even thou he was sick. Love you:)

grace and peace guys

The sun doesn't like you, you always get burned,

Stay in the shade and watch the world turn.
Better find a new place to lay on the ground,
Can't stay where you are or you're gonna be found.

And time won't pass you by,
And I won't tell you lies.

The Sun Doen't Like You- Norah Jones

she is amazing look into her stuff

great chill music

So today is the day... At 1:30 today my chest will longer be an empty canvas. The time is going by faster than I expected. Many discussions have been sparked because of my tattoo. Many concerns. Thanks to the concerned for the accountability and checking my motives. All appreciated and all heard. I am continuing on with this endeavor.. Im an artist and I appreciate art and I want to use my body to display it. Im getting an antique key put on my chest because there is meaning not just because I want it... When I found this scripture a while back I decided one day I would get a tattoo of a key.. the placement is completely my desicion and one of the top four areas I wanted to get a tattoo. In Matthew Jesus is talking to the disciples and he asks who everyone thinks the Son of Man is and they tell him some think its John the Baptizer and some Elijah and some think its Jeremiah.  And then Jesus asked the disciples "who do you say I am?" Simon Peter replied [who happens to be one of my favorites] "You are Christ, the Messiah, Son of the Living God" Jesus replied back in blessing and told him he would be a rock. and in the next couple verses he says this

19"And that's not all. You will have complete and free access to God's kingdom, keys to open any and every door: no more barriers between heaven and earth, earth and heaven. A yes on earth is yes in heaven. A no on earth is no in heaven."

There are vines that are gonna be in this same piece that represent us being the branches and Jesus being the Vine. To remind me to stay joined with Him to remain in His word and I will bear much fruit. All good reminders and all be be represented on my body in art. This is John 15.

 5-8"I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

So that being said I hope that the people closest to me can put down the guards and love me for me. Taking in account what is in my heart not on my body. I was put here to be a disciple of His word and teacher of His ways and a lover to the ones who aren't loved. Not that Im being ignorant in thinking people wont treat me different because of the tattoo and not to say people wont look down on me or wont take me seriously. Thats all fine and I accept all of those challenges. In those cases maybe Im not the one who is supposed to reach them or speak to there hearts.. Im just the one who is supposed to show them love and plant the seed and Im ok with that. There are others I will be able to build relationships with and show them all of me not just what's on the outside of me.

grace and peace my loves

2 Timothy 4

1-2I can't impress this on you too strongly. God is looking over your shoulder. Christ himself is the Judge, with the final say on everyone, living and dead. He is about to break into the open with his rule, so proclaim the Message with intensity; keep on your watch. Challenge, warn, and urge your people. Don't ever quit. Just keep it simple.

 3-5You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant.

interesting.

Are the details in the fabric

Are the things that make you panic

Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow

Hell, no reason, go on and scream

If you're shocked it's just the fault

of faulty manufacturing.

Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz

Beautiful lyrics

My glasses are in.. whoot. Went to visit Joey last night and he seems to think they look like Tina Fey's glasses. I don't think that its altogether a bad thing because she is kind of a hottie.. anyways I now have the glasses to prove I'm a dork no more hiding. Vietnamese hit the spot last night.. I was itching for some and finally pulled the trigger and had it for dinner. [Tasty num num's .. I like num num's because they are tasty] sorry stupid moment. I kind of want sushi for lunch today. We will see... So Target and Publix are coming to McCalla and I can not even come close to explaining my excitement. Seriously I will probably never go to Wal-mart again. Sushi. Good customer service. Quality product. Fresh vegetables and fruit. Cleaner stores. Starbucks. Need I say more. It does not phase me one bit that I will probably pay a bit more on products I can get at Wal-mart for a better price... but when it comes down to it I am really getting the better deal. No headaches from the idiots that work there.. No ridiculous lines. No stress. Love it. Oh I am so excited. 

I think I have decided I want to learn how to roll sushi.. It cant be that difficult. So if any one knows or wants to learn please join me. There is this sweet asian market on Lorna road and I can get pretty much everything I need there. Minus the fish. I think anyways... haven't been in a while. So let me know if you wanna learn we can do a sushi party or something. 

grace and peace loves

You’ve got the best of both worlds

You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,

And lift him back up again

You are strong but you're needy,

Humble but you're greedy

Based on your body language,

Your shouted cursive I've been reading 

You're style is quite selective,

Though your mind is rather reckless

Well I guess it just suggests

That is just what happiness is

Hey. what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses

A Beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz

new album 

go listen

great great sound 

This picture was taken a long time ago. First road trip with Joey to Pensacola... good stuff. Today marks 7 months of real love. laughter. growth. fun. joy. thought. sweet moments. flowers. long talks. nights. sunrises. sunsets. details. family. road trips. sushi. learning. decisions. choices. churches. writings. music. drawings. lyrics. realizing a lot.

My flowers from thursday. So pretty... Thank you babe. This morning I had the first bad Arby's biscuit... The world isn't right for some reason. Yesterday was a rough day. emotionally. thoughtfully. Just an off day. My mouth tends to get me in trouble and it did. I hurt and confuse sometimes. Not intentionally it just happens I need to work on it. Work on shutting my mouth and not using touchy subjects as an excuse for a laugh. Last night after every one left the house I sat in the dark and just sat still for a while. I cried. It was a good cry and needed cry. I hate doing it but sometimes my girl kicks in and I just need to be still and cry. I hate the thought of disappointing the ones I love. So far three people can make me cry.. my dad is one. The sound of disappointment in his voice hurts my soul. 

My glasses should be coming in soon. Im super pumped about them... Oh and I get my chest piece started thursday. That I am super nervous about.. Not about getting it but the pain is a big factor. I keep looking and researching and there are people who have tattoos all over there body and out of 10 the chest was a 10 and the worst. Scary but exciting. Wish me luck.. :) 

thoughts today: 

Apple juice is a childhood favorite

I love it

My computer is boss

Apple.

Cry... its good for you.

grace and peace 

merl

God is with them every step of the way,

they aren't done painting...

Velvet Elvis- Rob Bell

I'm refreshing myself

I'm rereading [listening to] it

I'm questioning and challenging again

Challenge. I like this word. I love the thrill and digging and getting dirty. I love the paths and the continuous turns and hills... Questioning is a good thing. Relearning is a good thing. Not just relearning but letting down guards and rethinking what you thought you knew. Today I'm challenging myself actually for three days I'm challenging myself and laying down guards and just being in the moment. Listening. Learning. Breathing. Being still when its time to be still. Taking action when its time to act. Today is day one. So far I'm working on tuning and examining and looking at me from a different angle... through different eyes. I'm a bit dry at the moment.

In other news the weather is on and popping today... It would be a great day to take some sweet photos. I love bad weather. I really just love the erie feeling.. the gray gloomy feeling. Tornadoes are a plus too. I love the destruction and power and mystery of it. cool stuff. My new bathing suit came in the mail. Pretty excited about it. I finally found an old school, retro but updated one [oxymoron I know] . black. I love it.

new websites:

2modern

interesting and fun blog

Yanko Design

very cool ideas

thoughts:

my heart hearts for loss

I just know how to handle my emotions

I don't like crying

my dad opening a restaurant is a thought

it may be my death bed [dramatic I know]

talking to other Secretaries is a mess

the lady at Mile Marker does not love me

and I'm trying to love her

grace and peace

merl

Get it right this time, get it off your mind..

let the summer rain bring rest and shame and love

and love...

Rest, Shame, Love- Augustana

great new album

check it out

Jessie Alayna & Taylor

these girls are so funny.. Friday I went to the McWayne Center with them. Traveled through the dino remains. Fought my way through the Adventure Hall. Rode the Flight Max 2000 [and yes I said several curse words when it started flipping me]. Watched Dinosaurs Alive in Imax. Then took a break outside too many people. Attempted to eat the sack lunch I signed up for. And finally rode home with three very tired and cranky girls and Donja [Alayna's mom]. All together the feild trip was fun... I think Im a fan of the McWayne Center. This past weekend was a bit weird... but still amazing and fun. Friday was the release of Ironman which was amazing if you havent seen it.. run and check it out asap. Saturday was laid back.. Joey came down to the house and hung out with the family. One Vision's first meeting was that evening and we collected our thoughts and have a killer plan for the upcoming meetings and the group as a whole. Sunday was full of family and church. good stuff. very relaxed. watched Ironman for the second time. Monday was Cinco de Mayo and despite the crazy crowds we managed to get Iguana grill for dinner.. we had take out and watched Jo Dirt then some Robot Chicken and Family Guy. I think I finally watched the funniest episode of Family Guy ever... I laughed and laughed until I cried and it hurt. So funny. Yesterday Staci came, brought lunch and hung out with me. Good stuff. We rode around and talked and caught up on life. Thanks girl. :) Last night my darling sweet boy came to dinner at my house and brought me flowers [I'll post pictures later] they were beautiful and smelled amazing. Full of different colors and types of flowers... It was cool waking up to that smell this morning. 

I know this is a boring post but I'm updating. Hope you are all having amazing weeks :)

grace and peace my loves

merl