sooooo

Im helping my sister with a school project and the topic is abortion.. They have to choose a side and create a sign with a slogan, fact or something to get their sides point across. She was looking up ideas and ran across these and I could help but laugh. Now please bear in mind I am WAYYYYYY Pro-life.

Now I’m a fat house cat...

Cursing my sore blunt tongue 
Watching the warm poison rats 
Curl through the wide/white fence cracks 
Kissing on magazine photos 
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean Blood of Christ mountain stream 

Have I found you? 
Flightless bird, brown hair bleeding 
Or lost you? American mouth 
Big bill, stuck going down

Flightless bird, American mouth-Iron and Wine

good group... loving this new find.

This weekend was my family reunion in Mississippi... First off let me just say that side of my family is wayyyyyyy country but I love them. They all have hearts of gold and are soooo sweet, would do anything for anyone. That being said they do have their draw backs but everybody does. This is my mom's side of the family [Herrington] which is her dad's family. Every year for 72 years they get together at this time of year and cook 3 to 4 hogs in the pit, the local families cook some down home sides [mac & cheese, green beans, corn, etc] made in every way possible, they cook the famous Mulligan stew [don't ask about the ingredients], and the greatest desserts ever made [Mississippi MUD, cookies galore, pecan pie... omg sooo good]. It brings in about 150 people who are actually related and about 100 who aren't but are close friends and locals. Over the years they have done entertainment like country singers, local singers, bands and stopped a few years ago but this year they brought it back with gospel singin and of course some ladies who laid some good county tracks down for us... It was great. I took pictures at the beginning but my camera died [like died] will not let me take pictures or switch to that setting... It was the craziest thing but I did manage to get some good ones before it went clinically insane. Check out the myspace album. I posted them all and not just my favorites so there are a bunch but they are fun. 

I haven't posted in awhile so I will update you on my life. I wake up. work. go home. watch Grey's Anatomy. the end. lolllll. but seriously its been like that for awhile. I went to bible study last week and that was great. I've been getting up a little early and doing something active for 30 min [punching bag, walk, stretch, etc] its slowly becoming fun. I have lost 8 pounds on my diet and thats going good. I don't grimace when I see water now. :) I finally got to finishing up my room all I have to do now is hang up my canvas' and my Beatles picture... and that should be done tonight I will post pictures soon.

Hope you are all having great Mondays

grace and peace

How can I decide what's right ...

When you're clouding up my mind? 
I can't win 
You're losing sight 
All the time 

Not gonna ever own what's mine 
When you're always taking sides 
But you won't take away my pride 
No, not this time 

Decode- Paramore

New. and very very good

will be on the Twilight soundtrack

I love these guys :) 

Time passes...

Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.-- New Moon [twilight saga]

I can't get this book out of my head... I know I am ridiculous brewing over a romantic/vampire novel. But I stand firm on that God will reach you through anything... He will show up in the most unlikely places. He has for me several times and I am thankful. Here recently my focus has been so wishy washy. To be honest, I have been a real flake. God deserves better than that... People in my life deserve better than that. I have been a mental zombie these past months, For what???? A relationship that was eventually going to fail. A feeling I went on. Some time I sat aside to figure things out [who ever honestly figures things out] We don't. God gives us a path for the time being but we screw things up. We allow evil to enter in, we take the wheel, we make our own paths and ultimately we allow our selfish desires to set in and take course. I have been focused on me and my "bad situation".. that to be honest is not soooo bad. Just Life. 

I am rambling I know... but I keep focusing on the bad and on all of my "dirt" that I am not allowing God to work in me and through me. I get a grip on my anger then unleash it in the most inopportune time... and on the flip side I cower in times I should stand firm. In times I know what I believe to be true, just, and right. I'm letting my wounds bleed and pushing through the muck of my life and calling it living. Poor excuses for my Maker... I keep on telling myself "I'm healing" "I'm getting better" "I am stable" and I lie to myself over and over again. It takes time. Something I cant honestly wrap my brain around. It takes effort. Which I am working on, believe me. Its takes love. Not just from my first love [Christ] but from the people in this life who keep me healthy and strong. I know I sound completely insane and for a while I felt crazy but I truly desire to be better... and truly feel like I am making progress. 

I am so blessed to have a mother who is patient and loving, a dad who tells me like it is and a family who is behind me and full of craziness. I am so blessed to be forgiven for all the shit I have screwed up and to have a Savior who loves me no matter what dirt I am drowning in still. I can live with that... correction. I can hold on to that. 

This book that I can't get out of my head really shook me in a time when I was so blind. A time when I was being completely self centered and not wanting to face my crap. I decided just to play in my dirt because I was comfortable there. So no more... my heart needs healing, my body needs refreshing, and my soul needs some light. Im not gonna mull through life half-heartedly. Im not gonna keep my mind in the past. I am moving forward [;) thats for you Stace]. I know I keep posting about it and talking about it and sometimes following through... but this time I am serious when I say it, blog it, think it. I am done with making excuses. It is time to be an active role in my story again.

On a lighter note I am gonna be posting some pics of the Ranch. [the one I posted today is from there] I am super stoked for all the crazy, good things that are happening. I am also stoked about getting to go fishing and having a place like we did when I was kid. I miss that. I used to live outdoors and I'm sad I don't anymore. OHHH I started my diet. I completely hate it. I hate water. I hate the sick feeling I will have for the next couple of days from the pills. BUT I am working on making better food choices. I am working on portions. I am working on adjusting to only water. I am working on being more active. My punching bag and walking is a start but I can do better. I am capable of better... and to be honest I miss being real active like when I was playing volleyball and basketball in high school. I miss team stuff also... I miss the kids at the Innerchange. I miss the team at the Innerchange. 

grace and peace 

Stitch in your knitted brow

and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step, all right now

making the best of it
playing the hand you get
you're not alone in this

there's hope for the hopeless

Hope for the Hopeless-A Fine Frenzy

I am so excited for the things God is doing for my Dad... Well let me explain. My dad for years has felt this yearning to help people mainly young men/boys/men who have been bogged down by wrong decisions, who are stuck, and who had a bad card dealt, whether it be bad parents, no money for a good education, or just plain struggling. [which I mean who doesn't] He has this longing to plant seeds in young men to be men of God. All my freaking life we have had guys around the house who need a couch to sleep on, an ear to listen, some food, a job, advise, and sometimes a kick in the butt [lol]... and he has been there for them all and no matter what was asked of him. So he has that pull and he wants to set up a place for them to come. There is this long story that I really can't do justice but somehow by the hand of God he ran across this property... and he felt God telling this was it. He waited for a LONG time... and he struggled with it. There was this huge family lawsuit going on with the property holding him back and things that kept creeping up. It really is a long story but this week he got the call that they chose his bid on the property... Today he sat down with the owner and hashed out some of the lease. He will soon sign an 11 year lease. I am so happy that he has the opportunity to give some his heart and do some work he will actually enjoy. The map above is of the property it sits on 4 to 5 miles of the Cahaba River, it also sits right off highway 5, and has tons of potential. Im totally stoked to see how this plays out. Be praying please :)